The biggest job in the world with Zero training, prep, schooling yet we all long for babies, to grow and nurture a family of our own.
As far back as I can remember,being a young girl, I always dreamed about becoming a mom. Having my first child so young definitely made me grow up faster than some of my peers… but I don’t regret it. I am a homebody, I love to cook, organize, prep, craft, read/write, etc. so I’m never bored at home. Still… having the responsibilities be the same EVERY single day and realizing you are responsible for a tiny human life can seem like a huge weight to carry.
I say all this to explain that I (along with most moms I’m sure) treasure the fact that I get to be a mother and I have these amazing children but it’s not easy or something to experience lightly. There are/have been days where it seems I’ve not just reached but passed my limit and I have no more (patience, rocking, nurturing, explaining, etc.,) left to give. It used to stress me out even more when I’d realize in the moment that my “tank” is even less than empty. Want to know what changed? I’ll give you a hint; the babies didn’t magically get easier… I changed. I realized I needed to dive deep into the Word and the only thing that would fill me and lift me up was God. I started to see that in my weakest moments when I genuinely had nothing left, I’d Pray to God to give me strength, patience, wisdom and anything else I was lacking. As soon as the prayer left my lips or heart I’d feel a peace wash over me.
Often, I get asked; “how do you handle the twins?” And for a while I’d brush it off and mumble some kind of response. How sad is it that it’s hard to share about God? He loves us and gives us everything and we are embarrassed of giving him glory. Now, if someone asks how I handle the twins my instant reply is God helps me. Yes, we live with my parents. And yes, we get lots of help. But let me tell you, nights are all on me. Nights are when the cries seem a hundred times louder, time seems to drag on, and your patience/strength is at an all time low. Simple but oh so powerful is a prayer during those times.
I want to encourage everyone who reads this, not just moms; PRAY. If you haven’t prayed in a while it will be hard to start. I know. We’ve been there. It’s embarrassing to come before God almighty when you know you haven’t spoken to him in days/weeks/months and when things are really bad you finally decided to come back. Let me tell you something; He will welcome you with open arms and be so happy you decided to talk to him. From the other side; don’t wait until you need God… talk to Him daily, remember He already knows EVERYTHING so there’s no need to feel shame, guilt, pain when talking to Him.